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Ellllvvvvvvvvvvvaaaaaaaaa!

and it's true that we named our children after towns we've never been to....

8/4/06 12:51 am

Cut it out - your self-inflicted pain
is getting too routine
the crowds are catching on - to the self-inflicted song
Well, here we go again - the art of acting weak
Fall in love to fail - to boost your CD sales
And that CD sells - yeah, what a hit
You've got to repeat it
you gotta' sink to swim

If at first you don't succeed
you gotta recreate your misery
'cause we all know art is hard
young artists have gotta starve
Try, and fail, and try again
the comforts of repetition
Keep churning out those hits
'til it's all the same old shit

Oh, a second verse!
Well, color me fatigued
I'm hiding in the leaves
in the CD jacket sleeves
tired of entertaining
some double-dipped meaning
a soft serve analogy
This drunken angry slur
in thirty-one flavors
You gotta' sink to swim
immerse yourself in rejection
regurgitate some sorry tale
about a boy who sells his love affairs
You gotta' fake the pain
you better make it sting
you're gonna' break a leg
when you get on stage
and they scream your name
"Oh, Cursive is so cool!"

You gotta sink to swim
impersonate greater persons
'cause we all know art is hard
when we don't know who we are

**
cursive, is so cool hahaha.

7/23/06 01:57 am

your body is so delicious.

and madison's is mad fun.

4/4/06 12:14 am - South Dakota abortion ban, Napoli g00gle bombing, and cartoon, and stand up fight back!!!

here's a link from... http://mediagirl.org/node?from=24

when i checked this Napoli thing is #7 on the google list.
if you guys dont know the story, basically in South Dakota one cannot have an abortion.
even if one has been raped, and in that case, even through incest.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/pp2/portal/files/portal/getinvolved/main.xml

to do something about it... *send a letter to Napoli and tell him what you think.. (you have to pretend you're from the US)
also check out this fantastic cartoon, and perhaps call Napoli to ask him about your decisions

http://minimumsecurity.net/toons2006/6034.htm

*remember, injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere*

****************
Napolied
By gballsout, posted Thursday 16 Mar 2006, 9:20 pm
Bill Napoli, the South Dakota state senator who gave a very explicit example of who should now be able to get an abortion in South Dakota, sucks. I am helping G00gle b0mb him with this, and you should too. Click the link!

http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/billnapoli/

And since I didn't know what G00gle b0mbing was, I'm gonna assume some of you don't either. It's when you link to something a million times so that it becomes the first result in G00gle. So, when you search for Bill Napoli you'll get the link about napoli being a new name for brutal rape as a result. Right now it's the first thing that comes up when you search for his name.

Click through! Repost!

ETA: someone pointed out that it's best not to use the proper spelling of "G00gle" in these posts since then they can write algorithms to disallow the results. So I've edited the entry.



permalink | gballsout's blog | 6 comments
tags: feminism | thoughts
***************

4/3/06 08:36 pm - take pictures of sexual harrasment perves and post them publically!

Please go to this website:
http://www.hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/

it is amazing!
its based in New York, but takes submissions from anywhere. Basically when someone sexually harrasses you, you take their picture and post it on the website, with a description of what they said. Public humiliation for these idiots! i mean how many times have you gotten sexually harrased, (be it at a bar, on the street, whereever), and wanted to kick them in the balls? (go ahead, but also take their picture!)
i encourage everyone to take pictures of the these perverts and post them whereever: on the website, on their "myspace", on their "facebook" on their livejournal... whereever!!! as for me, im going to start taking pictures, and will post them up on msn space whenever i get a new one.... ick, some of the descriptions on the website are quite hilarious, but make you feel disgusting and disgusted at these perves at the same time.

3/28/06 07:10 pm

here's an interesting story..

Fear of regulators' action prompts cuts in new U.S. sex-ed TV drama
24/03/2006 10:11:00 AM

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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LOS ANGELES (AP) - Barry Levinson said he doesn't blame the WB network for airing a censored debut episode of his drama revolving around a college class on sexuality. He holds the Federal Communications Commission responsible.


"We don't believe that the show should have been edited, but the network is very fearful of what the FCC has been doing recently," Levinson said Thursday. "They're intimidating the networks and levying these fines, so the networks are not sure of what they can or can't do."
The Bedford Diaries, set to premiere in the U.S. on Wednesday, will air minus scenes of two girls kissing and a girl opening her jeans, said Levinson, a prominent producer-director whose film credits include Rain Man, The Natural and Diner.

The network, which has used the Internet before to promote new series, is streaming a full, uncut version of the pilot on its website. The cast includes Matthew Modine, Milo Ventimiglia and Audra McDonald.

Last week, the government renewed its crackdown on what it considers indecency in television by proposing a total of $3.9 million US in new fines, including a record $3.6 million fine involving the depiction of a teenage sexual orgy on CBS's Without a Trace.

The FCC also upheld its $550,000 fine against CBS stations for Janet Jackson's 2004 Super Bowl flash of nudity.

Levinson said he and fellow executive producers Tom Fontana (Homicide: Life on the Street, Oz) and Julie Martin had already delivered what they and WB agreed was the final cut of The Bedford Diaries when the FCC fines prompted WB's second thoughts.

The producers refused to make further edits because they were "out of the bounds of logic we could understand," Levinson said.

"You can't even argue it," he said. "In its context, the show doesn't advocate any behaviour. In fact, in many ways it talks about the responsibility of the individual. But the FCC doesn't look at anything in context. So, therefore, they're upset that two girls kissed, period."

"We can't point the finger at the network," he said. "The network is responding to governmental intimidation."

In a statement, the WB said it "takes its responsibility as a broadcast network very seriously and we have always been mindful of the FCC's indecency rules.

"While we believe that the previous version of The Bedford Diaries is in keeping with those rules, out of an abundance of caution, we decided to make some additional changes" to the first episode, the network said.

Other episodes may be at risk, including one in which a teacher discusses sexual abstinence, Levinson said: The network is concerned that the FCC will consider only the sexual phrases and deem them indecent.

"We're living in absurdist times, that's all you can really say. You can't even give this real credibility," he said.

Federal law and FCC rules ban radio and over-the-air TV stations from airing obscene material, such as describing sexual conduct in a patently offensive way, at any time. The rules also bar stations from airing indecent references to sex or excretions between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m., when children might be more likely to watch.


****
now, do you think they are offended because of the sexual content will encourage others to do the same thing... and good god, not two girls kissing, oh right, the US doesnt like homosexual/behaviour that is slightly not straight...
does anyone else think that the fact that .... they won't allow 2 girls kissing on tv but yet they allow disgustingly violent scenes especially scenes of sexual violence usually directed against women on tv .... is ridiculous? i do. this is bullshit.
and a drama about a class teaching sex education? no wonder the US is all over this. they HATE sex education.. cause you know, as soon as you learn about condoms and contraception you'll turn into a devil worshipping, sexually promiscuos slut, who kills puppies. or at least that's what most American officials think. they dont realize that abstinance-only education only leads to unprotected sex, STD's, unwanted pregancies etc etc. Abstinance only education will NOT stop teens from having sex. oh and since they've taken abortion away, teens are really screwed. or maybe its only the women and the LQBT community that are screwed....
im ranting..

*i cant really do a proper update, i gotta get back to this essay.
bye!

1/10/06 07:39 pm - musical mysogyny part 2

some hip hop/rap is amazing... im not saying it is bad. it is mainly the mainstream stuff that has gotten me pissed. Mainly, Ludacris' "Red Light District" glorifies what it is to use prostitutes, and what it is to use women as objects. not only is using prostitutes cool, but so is beating them, as he does in one of his videos which is played regularly on muchmusic, mtv, and what ever else. the message is that women are to be used as objects, and they are only valued for their looks, and sex.



http://www.essence.com/essence/takebackthemusic/dirtydancing.html

In part two of our Take Back the Music series, we go behind the scenes with video girls. As pimp culture goes mainstream, are we getting paid or played?

By Jeannine Amber Photographs by Butch Belair



*missing a large chunks all over, visit the website if you want to read it*

Back in the day, rappers used to rhyme just about anything: partying, Black pride, the Daisy Age, hustling, pimping, the irritating way parents just don’t understand. From the sublime to the criminal to the mundane, it was all part of hip-hop and everyone had a place: gangsters, jokers, fast girls, tomboys and African queens. The art was as diverse as the people who produced it. But as hip-hop enters into its third decade, one icon has captured the imagination of the current crop of rappers as nothing has before. These days the pimp reigns supreme.

Pimp, pimping, pimp juice, pimp paraphernalia like goblets and canes, the pimp lifestyle, ethos and "code of honor" have permeated hip-hop culture and beyond. MTV airs a weekly show called Pimp My Ride, hosted by rapper Xzibit; Sony Pictures produced a feature-length animated flick, Lil’ Pimp, with the voices of Ludacris and Lil’ Kim, about a 9-year-old White boy who takes up pimping; 50 Cent calls himself a muthaf---in’ P.I.M.P. and shoots up the charts to number one. And Nelly hits the shelves of convenience stores with his energy drink Pimp Juice.

In hip-hop, pimp is a signifier of charisma, power and wealth. Pimp is masculine flamboyance, tricked-out cars, one-of-a-kind ’gators, bejeweled goblets full of Cristal. Pimp is domination in the bedroom, respect on the streets, a romantic illusion of alpha-male greatness. Gangster, the archetype of choice a decade ago, is played out; now it’s all about the pimp. But if rappers are re-creating themselves in the image of a Mack, then what role are women left to fill?

Any fan can answer that. "Mostly in videos, the women are there to serve the men," says Morgan Crooks, 16, a high-school student from South Orange, New Jersey.

By logging as much time in front of the TV as some spend in a full-time job, Morgan has become an expert on hip-hop videos. "You have New York—style videos," she says, "with the high-class, skinny girls who look like models. They just stand there looking good. And there’s this one 50 Cent video with women on leashes. Then you have videos from Down South, with half-naked rump shakers, and others where the guys sit in barber chairs, and the girls show up in tight pants and bend over, and their booties start jiggling. A lot of videos have girls just backing it up, like little hos."

At three o’clock in the morning, BET, the premier cable channel for airing hip-hop videos, broadcasts BET UnCut. The program features music videos in which many of the girls are wearing lingerie and doing the sorts of acrobatics usually reserved for bachelor parties. There’s a bikini-clad woman shaking her booty and grinning wildly while holding one leg high in the air in Nelly’s Tip Drill. Another woman, standing on her head, provides the backdrop to Ludacris’s rhyming, with his head between her naked, open thighs while she flexes her buttocks in Pussy Poppin’. There are women on all fours, women writhing on the ground, women grabbing their ankles, all poppin’ to the beat. These aren’t run-of-the-mill sexy and suggestive dancers. These women are clearly professionals with masterful control of the muscles of their hips and thighs and buttocks. When they lift one leg in the air and pop, pop, pop their thang, it’s enough to leave an average woman speechless.

Before BET UnCut, a seminaked Black woman lying on her back with her legs hoisted over her shoulders was something only paying customers in a strip club might see. Now it’s mainstream. Teenage girls are perfecting hypersexual stripper moves like booty clapping, dropping and poppin’ and showing them off at middle-school dances. "These are dances young girls didn’t used to know about," says Pamela Weddington, vice-president of communications at Motivational Educational Entertainment Productions (MEE), a communications company that specializes in urban markets. "Now it’s something that they aspire to. Even if they are not staying up until three in the morning to watch BET UnCut, everyone can set up a VCR."

While BET reps insist the show is for adult viewers only, the fact is many teenagers are indeed tuning in. "BET Uncut? Everyone’s seen it," says Morgan. "I remember some of the boys in class were like, ‘Did you see the uncut Ludacris video? Or the uncut Chingy?’ This was when we were like 14. Now it’s the younger kids who are watching it, the boys who are 12 and 13."

While exposing young boys to images of near-naked strippers will likely encourage them to sexually objectify women, for girls the effects are more subtle. "My sense is that over time young Black girls are beginning to internalize what they see in the media," says Weddington. "And we see it in their behavior."

"It’s clear that when you look at rap music videos, you see a certain scenario: one male artist surrounded by scantily clad females, and their job is to please him," adds DiClemente. "There are many theories that suggest that if a person looks at a lot of videos and doesn’t have information to the contrary, she begins to believe that this is reality, that this is the way the world works." According to DiClemente, teenagers seem to be influenced by the images in videos because they don’t have the life experience to counter what they are seeing. "They can’t say what they’re watching isn’t true because they don’t know. They’re just kids."

That may already be happening. In a trend that has gone virtually uncommented upon by activists, some rap stars have decided to lend their name and talents to productions even more explicit than their uncut videos. Rappers are now appearing in hard-core porn. In 2001 and 2003 the best-selling adult videos of the year were Snoop Dogg’s Doggystyle and Hustlaz: Diary of a Pimp, respectively; both were hosted by the Billboard-topping rapper. Snoop, recently applauded for his work with the Rowland Heights Raiders, a junior all-American football team of 8-to-10-year-old boys, acts as tour guide in the graphic DVDs, featuring naked adult-film stars engaging in among other things, anal and group sex. According to Sean Carney, the research director at Hustler Video, the company that distributes Snoop’s films, Doggy Style sold 45,000 units and Diary of a Pimp, 50,000—more than four times what’s considered a top seller in the porn world. Snoop, who endorses T-Mobile and AOL, and was once asked to appear on Jim Henson’s It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas, has been hailed as "totally embodying the hustler lifestyle" by Carney. "This has been a fantastic partnership," enthuses Carney, noting that "Snoop has brought some hip-hop fans to adult videos for the first time."

Over the past several years, other top-selling rappers like 50 Cent, Lloyd Banks, Lil’ John and even old-schooler Ice-T, who currently stars on NBC’s Law & Order: SVU, have hosted adult videos. Ice-T’s top-selling project, Pimpin’ 101, shows the rapper "schooling viewers on the different types of girls who work the streets," says Dan Miller, features editor for Adult Video News, a porn-industry publication. Porn actresses play the hos, and a fully clothed Ice-T narrates the film and introduces the sex scenes. "Making porn is a sign you’ve made it," says Carney. "If you are a hip-hop star and you come out with your own triple-X video, it’s a sign you’ve arrived." And so it continues—the exaltation of women as sexual acrobats by the very artists so many of us support.

1/9/06 03:48 pm - misogyny in music

web page for this article is: http://www.tolerance.org/news/article_tol.jsp?id=831
the rest of the site for this subject is pretty interesting as well.
BEYOND RAP: Musical Misogyny


Editor's Note: This is the second part of a four-part series on misogyny in music. Future stories will address music videos and young people's views on these issues.
By Dana Williams | Staff Writer, Tolerance.org

Aug. 12, 2003 -- What do the Rolling Stones, Kid Rock and Snoop Dog have in common?

They all have capitalized on blatantly misogynistic lyrics, making the objectification of women as much a part of their acts as electric guitars or heavy bass.

Misogyny has long been a part of the music world. The Rolling Stones, were selling misogyny well before hip hop and rap burst onto the scene, with tracks like "Under My Thumb," an ode to male domination and female submission.

But while the Rolling Stones celebrates its classic rock 'n' roll status, hip hop and rap become the whipping boys of the music industry. Snoop Dog and his cohorts bear the brunt of criticism levied by everyone from senators to watchdog groups and from parents to conservative talk show hosts.

Some say racism is clearly to blame for mainstream society's selective hearing problem.

The public seems far more disturbed by misogynistic lyrics in the music of rap and hip hop artists who are largely black than similar lyrics in rock music, perceived by most as a white genre, says Cynthia Fuchs, an associate professor at George Mason University.

"The flamboyance of rock is understood as performance, rather than from the perspective of personal feelings," said Fuchs, who teaches courses in film and media studies, African American studies and cultural studies. "These guys are seen as innocuous. They appear to be players in the fence of accumulating women in skimpy costumes, but they aren't necessarily seen as violent."

Hip hop and rap artists are viewed through a different lens.

"The mainstream takes it (hip hop and rap) to represent real-life, so it's seen as more threatening than some of the angry, whiney white boy rock, even though the same messages and images are portrayed," Fuchs said.

Consider the lyrics of Kid Rock, whose piercing blend of hard rock, metal and misogyny has sold millions of records:


Now if you like the booty come on fellas show it
This is your last verse to wax so why would you blow it
And if the ladies if you are tired of a man on your fanny
Then f--- you go home and watch the tube with granny
ýJust look at all the girls that are dying to get some
Man, just don't be a wussy
And I'll guarantee you could get a piece of p----
'Impact is Huge'
If the Woodstock rapes of 1999 are any indication, lyrics like these are anything but innocuous. The combination of "angry, whiney white boy rock" performances laced with women-hating lyrics and an audience drunk with testosterone created an atmosphere ripe for mob rule and public sexual assaults against female festival-goers — something yet to be reported on such a large scale at a rap or hip hop concert.

"The impact is huge," says Ann Savage, associate professor of telecommunications at Butler University. "It's the repetitiveness of the messages, the repetitiveness of the attitudes, and it builds on people."

Savage, who for several years has taught a course exploring "Women and Rock" at Butler University, says the most recent Woodstock Festival is an example of those repetitive messages feeding and building on an audience.

"People say rap is dangerous. Yes, rap music does have misogyny, but there has always been an objectification and misogyny against women in music," said Savage. "Yet we focus on the black artists, not the rockers and not even the white executives who are making the big money from this kind of music."

Savage says the race-based double standard applies to violent content in music as well. "There was the Eric Clapton remake of Marley's 'I Shot the Sheriff,' and there was little to be said. But then you have the 'Cop Killer' song by Ice-T and it's dangerous and threatening."

Race isn't the only double standard present in the music industry. Gender, too is at play, Savage said, referencing Madonna's "What it Feels Like for a Girl" video.

"She does some pretty violent things towards men in that video, and it was banned on MTV, but every day we see constant images in videos containing violence and misogyny against women."

Help from the Third Wave
No matter the color or genre of a music artist, many believe any kind of misogyny should be taken seriously.

Groups like the Third Wave Foundation, which empowers young women to get involved in social activism, are providing resources to help girls go beyond just listening to the sexist messages about them.

Third Wave Foundation's public information campaign, "I Spy Sexism" issues this call to young women everywhere: "Dust off your spectacles, binoculars, or magnifying glass; it's time to lend your 20/20 to the fight against sexism, racism, and homophobia in your community."

Kalpana Krishnamurthy, the Foundation's co-director, says the "I Spy Sexism" campaign helps young women take power in addressing music, movies and other products they find offensive.

"It lets them know the best tools for expressing their frustration about sexist images in pop culture," said Krishnamurthy. "We want them to open their eyes, because that is the first step to bringing about change."

1/5/06 12:32 pm - this is a little old but most of it still applies

try to realize when she says something about males, look how that would relate to present day females. its pretty good and true, and will make some people think.



This exercise was written by Theodora Wells, a feminist and a business
communications and training consultant working in Los Angeles, California,
who has written a book called "Breakthrough: Women into Management" (Van
Nostrand Reinhold, cloth). Her exercise is designed to help a woman imagine
a world without the myth of male superiority as a working premise. It could
be a powerful exercise to use in a consciousness raising group or to start
people thinking about their female self-image and its practical effects on
our living.

We need to protect and nurture our connections with other women. Female
alienation is encouraged by male chauvinism. I need to watch for places
where my own attitude is altered by cultural prejudices which distort my
self-image and my perception of other women. How much of the social
feminine stereotype do I accept and take part in?


"Woman - Which Includes Man, Of Course: An Experience in Awareness"
--------------------------------------------------------------------

There is much concern today about the future of man, which means, of course,
both men and women -- generic Man. For a woman to take exception to this
use of the term "man" is often seen as defensive hair-splitting by an
"emotional female."

The following experience is an invitation to awareness in which you are
asked to feel into, and stay with, your feelings through each step, letting
them absorb you. If you start intellectualizing, try to turn it down and
let your feelings again surface to your awareness.

* Consider reversing the generic term Man. Think of the future of Woman
which, of course, includes both women and men. Feel into that, sense its
meaning to you -- as a woman -- as a man.

* Think of it always being that way, every day of your life. Feel the
everpresence of woman and feel the nonpresence of man. Absorb what it tells
you about the importance and value of being woman -- of being man.

* Recall that everything you have ever read all your life uses only female
pronouns -- she, her -- meaning both girls and boys, both women and men.
Recall that most of the voices on radio and most of the faces on TV are
women's -- when important events are covered -- on commercials -- and on the
late talk shows. Recall that you have no male senator representing you in
Washington.

* Feel into the fact that women are the leaders, the power-centers, the
prime-movers. Man, whose natural role is husband and father, fulfills
himself through nurturing children and making the home a refuge for woman.
This is only natural to balance the biological role of woman who devotes
her entire body to the race during pregnancy.

* Then feel further into the obvious biological explanation for woman as the
ideal -- her genital construction. By design, female genitals are compact
and internal, protected by her body. Male genitals are so exposed that he
must be protected from outside attack to assure the perpetuation of the
race. His vulnerability clearly requires sheltering.

* Thus, by nature, males are more passive than females, and have a desire in
sexual relations to be symbolically engulfed by the protective body of the
woman. males psychologically yearn for this protection, fully realizing
their mascuilinity at this time -- feeling exposed and vulnerable at other
times. The male is not fully adult until he has overcome his infantile
tendency to penis orgasm and has achieved the mature surrender of the
testicle orgasm. He then feels himself a "whole man" when engulfed by the
woman.

* If the male denies these feelings, he is unconsciously rejecting his
macsculinity. Therapy is thus indicated to help him adjust to his own
nature. Of course, therapy is administered by a woman, who has the
education and wisdom to facilitate openness leading to the male's growth and
self-actualization.

* To help him feel into his defensive emotionality, he is invited to get in
touch with the "child" in him. He remembers his sister's jeering at his
primitive genitals that "flop around foolishly." She can run, climb and
ride horseback unencumbered. Obviously, since she is free to move, she is
encouraged to develop her body and mind in preparation for her active
responsibilities of adult womanhood. The male vulnerability needs female
protection, so he is taught the less active, caring, virtues of homemaking.

* Because of his clitoris-envy, he learns to strap up his genitals, and
learns to feel ashamed and unclean because of his nocturnal emissions.
Instead, he is encouraged to keep his body lean and dream of getting
married, waiting for the time of his fulfillment -- when "his woman" gives
him a girl-child to carry on the family name. He knows that if it is a
boy-child he has failed somehow -- but they can try again.

In getting to your feelings on being a woman -- on being a man -- stay with
the sensing you are now experiencing. As the words begin to surface, say
what you feel from inside you.

1/5/06 11:52 am - gay rights are directly linked to womyn's rights

i think in the fight for equality for women, it is very important to include rights for gay, bi, trans, and queer people. To start having rights for females, we must also fight the gender stereotypes that are forced on us. Fighting the gender sterotypes will allow both womyn's rights AND gay rights to progress.
besides, homophobia is wrong, i dont Think it's wrong, it IS wrong. besides, most homophobics are closet homosexuals. or assholes.

10/13/05 12:49 pm

Going off of Stuey's entry, its remarkable how songs can make you feel any way, in an instant. The song "We have a map of the piano" by Mum really makes me sad... but yet i love the song... so i dont want to stop listening to it. The "Nothing Song" by Sigur Ros, also makes me really sad... but i love the song too. Its amazing that no matter how happy we are that day, if we listen to just one minute of one song it can bring us crashing down again.
elva

8/31/05 10:11 am - war criminals

this was posted at a magazine's website about the methods of female interogation of the detainees at Guantanamo Bay. It was about how they are using women's sexuality as something to humiliate the detainees (as a form of torture). so of course, this is fairly degrading to women, as well as unfair to the detainees, but i like this person's view on things:

So when Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, etc. are finally charged as war criminals (indulge the fantasy for a moment,) what interrogation techniques should be used? A few flamboyant homosexual men clad in leather gyrating inches from their faces? Sexually active teens lecturing on contraceptives?
Posted by Eri (e) (w) at February 1, 2005 08:29 AM

Elva

8/16/05 12:19 am

01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie reminds me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal.

5/2/05 10:22 pm

im just so fucking happy. i don't even know why, i think its cause its Montreal. but i havent felt this way in a long long time. i feel like i have literally taken prozac or something. it's great.
i dont know what it is maybe that i dont have to worry about dave's bullshit, or that my first year is over, or that i get to see my home town friends or that im looking soo sooo sooo forward to next year, that if emma lives with us, thats totally cool cause i think she's one of the nicest people on the planet. that im living it up in montreal, that its my bday tommorow, that im just soo soo happy. i love life right now, im thrilled to be alive. it feels so good. except for some things like my sister is pissing me off. but bad comes with good. oh im excited for life. if i could, i would cut a part of it off and give it to my friends so they could share in the happiness. okay, at this point, no one is going to understand what im saying. so i should go and let the words evaporate.
ciao, Elva

4/21/05 10:22 pm

i feel so good today and i dont know why. i have a bright pink slushie. it is radioactively hot pink. you can almost taste the chemicals. its awesome. reminds me of montreal. that was one damn psychedelic slushie i had there! :) besides that fact, i have to study for History! oh boy :) almost done though! and then ill be back in the tdot with everyone and ill be 19 and hopefully everything will work out. :)
I hope we find a house sometime this summer gene! (thanks for being there for me last night eh)

4/19/05 10:30 pm

"This is our son Rodney Handcock. But please, call him Rod. As if the embarrasment of our last name wasn't enough, I'd like to refer to him as Rod Handcock. Oh and here's my other son, Randy. Oh and my name is Dick."
WHY!!!! WHyyyyyy.

elisha, you are so funny.

4/12/05 08:00 pm

It's amazing how the people you thought didnt even know you say the nicest things. sigh, i love adam.

4/9/05 07:10 pm - this goes out to everyone! everyone!

I feel I wanna hold you, wanna tell you that you'll be alright
Sang this song today, it's recalling your pictures all in my mind
I miss you now
I miss you now
Although we're getting old now my old friends gonna leave me and die
I'm helpless, it's gonna get us before we get this, I wanna kiss you goodbye
I miss you now
I miss you now
I miss you now

I feel I wanna hold you, wanna tell you that you'll be alright
I'm helpless, it's gonna get us before we get this, I wanna kiss you goodbye
I miss you now
I miss you now
I miss you now

4/5/05 12:44 am - Eestis

Ma tahan minema Eestis! Ma tean, "ma tahan, ma tahan... :S" aga ma tahan palju palju minema Eesti. Minu malestud Eestis on ilus. Ma armastan vajahs, ilus rand, metsa, (metsakutsa ka:) (minule meeldib), minu perekond. sigh, ma tunnen minu sobres ja perekond järele suurt puudust!!! Ma armastan Eestis vaga vage palju. See oli ilus meri, ma ujin (ujuma) (meeldib sula sula! aga sula sula suvilas). Minu pilid on rammatus, ja nuud ma tean raamatus Eestis maletused ja see on minu uhke väljasõit. Si minu sobres saad aru see minu kirutamine, minu on andman Kallis voi kaisutus :) Ma armastan sinules!:)
Elva

3/30/05 06:29 pm

dave is a douchebag.

3/30/05 06:10 pm - long survey dealie

TEN Random Things About Me
10 - i like to say that i want ponies
9 - unitards are funny. i had to wear one for dance class.
8 - my fingernails are all torn up.
7 - it looks as though i took the picture in my picture window, but really my friend took it and i couldnt stop laughing in all the pictures she took.
6 - I have a birthmark on my lower neck that looks like the United Kingdom.
5 - lamps hate me.
4 - I should start running.
3 - I need to work on my essay thats due tommorow.
2 - i ate at cafe alternatif today
1 - there was a guy who kinda looked like dan there.


NINE Places I've Visited
9 - Montreal
8 - Toronto
7 - Kingston
6 - Estonia
5 - Riga, Latvia
4 - Helsinki airport
3 - Detroit
2 - Vancouver
1 - Jamaica


EIGHT Things I want to do before I die
8 - travel
7 - learn how to play the guitar.
6 - improve people's lives
5 - learn how to play the bongo drum like the hippies in protests.
4 - be in love
3 - live in a farmish house in estonia with my lover.
2 - learn estonian, french, portugese, spanish, maybe some others.
1 - xhange laws.

SEVEN Ways to win my heart
7 - make me laugh
6 - have a passion for social activism
5 - draw. play the guitar.
4 - dont be afraid to be yourself.
3 - hold me
2 - don't be an arrogant bastard. be a generally decent person.
1 - do something nice/thoughtful for me.

SIX Things I believe in
6 - ghosts
5 - angels/guardian angels
4 - there are people who will never stop changing and that will never change
3 - change is inevitable
2 - activism
1 - some form of higher power

FIVE Things I'm afraid of
5 - that the world will never be a better place
4 - rape
3 - losing my memory
2 - dying
1 - losing my cat family and friends

FOUR of my Favorite Items in my bedroom: (at Uni)
4 - my laptop
3 - letters people have sent me
2 - my pictures and posters
1 - my window

THREE Things I do everyday
3 - sit on my bed
2 - put on clothing
1 - go pee

TWO Things I am trying not to do right now:
2 - my politics essay
1 - be sad

ONE Person I want to see right now: hm, my.... kitty. wait person...
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